for the first time after a while, i let my eyes completely shut. free from all the woes in the world and choosing peace for the first time.
my mom has chosen me as her new dream; she was once a girl, then a woman, and now a mother with a daughter named me. she always gets lunch available before 12 PM and she prays for her children before sleep. she’s just a girl that’s so pretty that she does everything to keep her kids not run away from their problems. and maybe someday, i’ll be a mother too.
everything has passed and we’ll always pray for a better tomorrow, right?
that ‘tomorrow’ might not come directly, but, it will happen anyway. There’s this reality that people might only see an ounce of your entire life and years to come, and sometimes, we don’t need closure at all. we need to let go. evolve.
there will be no balance, no explanations, things happen and we get to experience all the chaos anyway, well, but that person in heaven doesn’t want you to quit.
there’ll always be a tomorrow where things get better and i will learn something about today. a little more about myself. a little better about myself.
all these times i’ve.. been living in this vague concept called.. whatever this world is. i’ve been through different phases in life, the fake and the real, and.. it’s all.. vague. everything feels like a distant memory and nostalgia, intangible, unreal, yet.. it all happened. everything’s real and sometimes it’s a little too overwhelming or am i making up problems that don’t exist in my head just to feel something? just to feel as if i was having a problem when everything is actually content and okay?
time will tell. time will answer, and tell.
is it selfish, toxic, or are we just.. human?
Are we tolerable, or are we just.. making excuses?
Do we keep on making the same mistakes just to justify our past wounds?
Do we love, or do we need to feel something in return?
It’s okay, screwing up is part of the journey. we’ll make mistakes and do stupid things and regret but it’s part of the journey. as long as we don’t hurt ourselves again in the long run. it’s always part of the journey. you’ll be okay. i’ll be okay. we will be fine. someday. just take it slow. slowly, but surely.
