life goes on and on and i can’t keep up

can we please live forever?

You’ll never know when it’s your last day.

This is the underline that’s often overlooked. We may wait until we’re elderly to begin thinking about our last moments but now death knows no age. Sometimes it’s knocking on our door, gently, lulling us into a deep sleep and we’d never know when it’s coming and the core question is; is it supposed to be scary?

But I know of two things. Either we surrender to our conclusion beforehand or we live through grief of loved ones.

The world ended that day, at least mine. My world has been ending several times for me but sometimes, it’s harder than the last. Even more surprising than the last. But when I look around and the world keeps spinning, is it supposed to be frightening?

Every day since, I’ve found myself holding my breath as if waiting for life to exhale, preparing for yet another tragedy. But it’s a view too bleak, and life goes on anyway. Sometimes I still go to cafes or walks by myself and I see all the other people around me, with different unsaid problems and tribulations. They’re still alive anyway. Hoping that with each pause, there might be a moment of healing. But that’s not the point, isn’t it?

‘Because what is grief if not love preserving?’

One’s passing is not confined to their final moments. It’s the gratitude of them ever coming into our lives. The countless memories and heartfelt lessons that continue to guide us, as we live through the last seconds of this world. No matter how bleak, the sun still rises and the wind keeps blowing and another baby’s cry break into the world. A new name every single second, a new goodbye every single hour.

As painful as it is, life continues whether we’re crying or laughing.

The world’s too big to stay stuck.

And being a human means moving forward. As I’ve always written, but with new meanings every time. Most times it’s unexpected, and it can be traumatizing. And until that day comes, we’ll manage, breathe deeply, and allow our journeys to continue, embracing all of its bittersweet twists.

After all, life goes on and on.

(Life is temporary, and our names will be forgotten by history. So the now is the present. Cherishing all the memories left and I bet Heaven has remembered those stories millions of years ago and even to come.)

Everyday, I’m grateful that Heaven welcomes you with open arms. The earth, the world of the living, becomes more fragile each passing second. But somehow the sky becomes more beautiful every time.

Until we all meet again, under the same love we shared moments ago, moments have been, moments will be.